I went to Jan's House today after school. By myself. For two and a half hours. Doing nothing but drinking coffee and writing. Occasionally eating--okay, mostly eating. Sometimes even pondering over various inconsequential lifetime elements. Bahaha, once again, mostly eating. With no one there to hawk-eye me, unlike at school, where I am watched. All. The. Time.

Today I've had a bowl of kashi go lean with sliced strawberries and lactaid (grossy gross), three apples, a grapefruit, a tuna chef salad (pure deliciousness), and a bowl of fruit loops with vitamin d milk. Add in trivial amounts of cream from my coffee and I'd say I did pretty well today. Barely any purging, and even though that sounds sketchy, that means a lot. I only purged a little of the grapefruit, and that was for attention, which I'm going to try and stop doing. Going to try so hard. But I did better than I usually do. I'd say that's approximately... actually... I don't give a shit what that approximately is. I'm going to have peanut butter on a slice of bread before I go to sleep and I'm calling it quits.

I've written and written today. I recited my poetry to the speech and debate class, and I think they liked it. Tomorrow Mrs. Patty said I could recite more for a reserved period of time. I'm going to compile a website of nothing but my writing. Can I make one of those without seeming like an idiot? Maybe I should just complete a file or something. Blahblahblah writing blahblahblah coffee blahblahblah eating disorder blahblahblah school blahblahblah teaching blahblahblah love blahblahblah music blahblahblah friends. Tralalalalala.

I miss Ms. Wright. She was totally my knight in shining armor when I needed one. I want/need to talk to her. I owe her so many thanks, and I feel like she deserves to know that I'm subconsciously paying her back with my every word and movement. Every breath I take is a praise on her behalf. She basically saved my life freshman year, I mean, what would I have done without her? Easy! I would have killed myself. On the brightside, she basically saved my life and I'm here, well and breathing. How many teachers can brag about that? Actually, I'm sure quite a few can. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones, touched by the presence of these savior oddities.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE GREENSBORO. Oh me oh my, I just cannot wait. Asheville sounds like it's going to be so much fun. AND HANNAH WILL BE THERE, TOO. HI HANNAH. LEMME GIVE A SHOUT-OUT TO MY PEEP (singular).

I hope every time someone reads my blog, they can hear me narrating. That's how characteristic I want my writing to be. I want it to be like none other. I am Mia McCarthy and I deserve to be treated as nothing more or less.

I'm so excited about college. College college college. I'm going to have so much fun, I can already tell! All of these classes to choose from, and they don't last too long to keep my attention. Miss Victoria Spring (you think I'm shitting you, but I shit you not, that's her lovely lovely lovely name) will be my roomie and I'm just so euphoric about the whole deal. She's one of the huge reasons that I am really choosing recovery, because I can't end up triggering one of my friends. That would be absolutely awful. College just sounds so interesting, and EXCITING. Then why am I not excited about finally graduating? Probably because I'm having to pass this final stretch, which is a Grade A Bitch.