It has been a long time since I was this happy.

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These songs I am singing are my life's anthems. We can share them. We are crying these notes, these poems and phrases. Touching the rough stubble of your scalp and knowing that your head is resting against mine. Laughing, carefree as we toss and turn in our unrest. Feeling on top of the world while I leave you in utter bliss, and don't act like I don't know because that smile says that your world was just turned upside down. It was, wasn't it? I think you know more than you would like to right now, and it's scary, isn't it? I never knew that being conventional could be so very charming, oh so very comforting! Let's bask in these short moments of euphoria, shared between the few and fair because the rest just don't know what it is that they are missing. Pity them not, they choose their battles, their priorities. My heart beats softly, the barest tap of rain on the windshield. Let's breathe in this moment deeply, cherish the very air we take in, breathe about. Don't forget that we have to leave soon, please don't leave soon. It will be too late to save if we just give up now. Your eyes consume me, spread from my fingertips to my wrists until my hands are forced to sway from one decision to the next. as if I can be torn apart between the many lips around us, rows and rows of rough teeth surrounding me. Eyelids dusted with opium-love drift closed and flutter fast as hummingbirds. The rain is the pulse in my throat, where I can feel your lips. Rows and rows of roughly chewed mouths.


and now this:

The rain is the fluttering pulse at my throat, where I feel your breaths cave in and out, spacing around the idea that maybe this is as good as it gets. I hear the rustling, the shifting, the lovingly lovely noises of what is apparently under my control. I am out of control.

I want to feel like this forever.