bodily transcendentalism! an ode

I have worshipped at an alter of alternative religion
repeating the creed in mumbles under my breath
pulled taught the skin around my wrists and
whispered lies just to sink into and away to sleep

So your name is always the first one to my lips
I spill blood like blessing until it ceases to fall
like flower dripping venom nectar and dying in it
I am torn between loving and hating my creation

you are there to save me from this leaden anchor
whose toxicity is proven in rhythms of pulsing
as if counting in 3s and 9s could salvage me

please come and rescue me from my shell!