I feel something different today. Perhaps not "beautiful," but something so akin to that word that it is uncanny, and even more so unlikely. It's surprising how much better I feel about life in general when I take care of my appearance and get things done. I just take a shower, put on fun clothes, wear a little bit of makeup, straighten and fuck-up my hair, pick out cute shoes, and smoke an accomplished cigarette after I eat. I go to class and do the work the best I can and explain my situation to my professors, and they actually care. Life can be fantastic in those little moments. Just really amazing.