Last night I took a little time to pick out what I was going to wear today. It includes: a neon green Volcom tank, Kelsey's torn grey skinny jeans, my grandmother's black ankle boots, and a black belt with three rows of silver studs. Because it's cold, I'm also wearing Kelsey's plaid jacket. I darkened the makeup around my eyes and darkened the color of my lips. I styled my hair a little differently. I felt good about how I looked in my clothes again--or rather about how I look in general. I didn't think that my hips are too narrow and my shoulders are too broad, my lips are too big and my nose is too small, my belly is too big and my calves are too thin. I felt strong again. I felt positively about myself.

My class discussed gender and sexuality in H&W today. Gender stereotypes, different genders, gender identity, gender expression, different sexualities, harassment and bias, heterosexism, breaking gender stereotypes, and the changing tides of gender and sexuality in the modern world. I absolutely love talking about those things. I am always so outspoken when it comes to those topics, and a guy even talked to me after class about what I identify as and what some of my theories are. It was very engaging. I think that if I didn't go into teaching English and CW as a career, I would be a gender and sexual rights political activist. I feel so strongly about equal rights for everyone that I honestly can't label myself as a feminist. Feminism has served and still serves a purpose, but gender rights is the way of the future. So I'm pansexual and I express myself differently from day to day. My gender is primarily feminine and matches my body quite well, and I like to switch between femme and androgynous in my appearance. In the end, I don't usually even both to label myself. I often will say I'm a "dyke", but I just feel that word fits me for some reason. It's not a huge deal to me because I have always been surrounded by people who are supportive of me. My mother told me when I was younger that she would support me in loving anyone, and my grandparents tell me all the time that they just wish me the best (whatever that may be for me) and happiness. My father may never understand, but he does whatever he can to make me feel comfortable with who I am. I also know that my friends love me for who I am, not what I am. I can and will accept everything that comes with being myself.