I'm not surprised anymore. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm barely an addict. I just have problems. I'm just nineteen and learning my limits. No one should do coke. No one should abuse pills. It happens, but it shouldn't. Big fucking deal.

I slept in today. It was really, really nice. I might get the server position at the retirement home. The interview went well. I wasn't even that nervous. I've been doing fine, fine, fine... so why am I upset? I feel brainwashed, drained of energy, I need to work out again. So what? I'm fine.

I went grocery shopping earlier. It wasn't that bad. I just get nervous about money. I basically bought salad gear, which is cool, but I also bought quinoa and dry beans. I'm going to have a staple diet soon, so boring but whatever. At least I'm cheap, cheap, cheap. I am economically sound, save for cigarettes, coffee, and shopping at thrift stores. I am fine.

It's true. I'm fine. I promise.