I can do a 45lb clean and jerk 3x (10x at 30lb) and a 30lb back squat around 10x. I've gotta say that even though I'm just beginning, I feel pretty good. I'm trying valiantly not to hurt myself accidentally. I don't know... Is this healthy? I need to ask Ginny. I wish I was still seeing Debra, but we didn't actually talk about nutrition and fitness that often. It's kind of the general consensus that I know my shit and just have to choose to help myself, which is kind of true and kind of complicated, e.g. my declination of keeping hydrated despite my knowledge of its benefits. Sometimes I wish I could feign ignorance, that blissful state of illogical whimsy. But I can't. Still, at least my grammar needs a good brushing up. That's something.

EDIT:
Let me just say that I am proud of my body. It has done more than I deserve. It has treated me well, and I believe it will treat me even better when I learn to give it what it needs. So far, so good.

from the depth
of bone deep churning
crawls the cadaver
distant
mourning
she keeps her head
held high in awe
of the beautiful world
she bid farewell
best wishes
and peace elapsing
beneath her
feet
of the ram
the rhyme
space and time
she snaps
collapsing