It's official: I have a problem. I have a drug-related problem, and I'm going to change that. I'm going back into treatment, probably a local OP program and insurance will apparently cover it.

On a brighter note, I discovered one of the best mixes I've ever heard, which I will share. The sixth song ("Rabbit Heart"/"Raise It Up") is one of my all-time favorites now. It's... stunning. I hear the video rocks, too.

I'm scared, but now is the time to become stronger. I'm working out again... mostly weight training, but that's what I need right now. I'll run when I give a shit. I want my muscles back. I need that protection, that cover, that defense. I need my security and safety. I need my own armor and I will have it.

I'm not eating as much, but I'm eating strangely.

I don't know. This is a lot of uncharted territory as far as I'm concerned.