"So we're ok, we're fine
Baby I'm here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed"
-Emily Saliers, Power of Two

I called the guy for the IOP program. I think it's four days a week, three hours monday and two hours the rest of the time. Hopefully even I can focus that long. Hopefully even I won't need a cigarette during that time. I'm super proud of myself for handling the intake on this one. We scheduled a meeting on Tuesday at 10 a.m. and I really hope I can wake up in time.

I have the family session tomorrow, rescheduled to 2 p.m. so my grandmother can finish feeding hungry people in time. I really do love how my grandfather still works full-time and my grandmother is still a busy-bee at her church and volunteering for all of these things. Sometimes it bugs me, like when I wake up and I wonder where the fuck everyone is, but then I remember that they are off saving the world and I just make a pot of coffee for myself and call my mother. She is inevitably battling the dogs and almost dying of heat-stroke doing something productive, like working in the yard or around the house or whatever.

Me? I just hang out and write, get/drink coffee, work out and sleep. And cruise around listening to music.

I'm really starting to appreciate my body. Like, holy shit. I'm actually bulking up quite quickly. It would be scary if it weren't just so damn nifty. Within a week or two, my arms and shoulders have gone insane. My legs are getting there, but it's going to take awhile for me to actually support making my legs more muscular. They're naturally that way for the most part, just a little too tiny/lanky to be connected to the rest of my body. So, while it makes sense to bulk them up like my arms, I just can't get that idea to click. I should be biking more, but but but... I don't want my butt to get any more boyish. Seriously, this is the weirdest struggle ever.

Bulimia is still kicking my ass, but I'm hanging in there. I'm hoping going to this IOP program will give me the boost I need in all venues of my recovery.

I'm glad I can still wear a AA sports bra when I'm actually somewhere around a C. It makes me laugh.

I'm also glad that all of my quotes are from the Indigo Girls.