It's a very bad sign when you do something, hoping that if it doesn't make you happy (or perhaps empty?)... that it may kill you.

Tonight is (was?) a very, very bad night. I feel like a terrible, weak person.

I am not beautiful enough. Not pretty, smart, funny, kind, etc... nothing. I am nothing. I do not mean enough, I lack substance, I am insubstantial.

This is what happens, baby. This... you end up here, time and time again. This is what happens when you allow yourself to feel.

Am I really this worthless?

I just paid with my self-respect and the trust of others for a few hours of calm . Way to go, dear.

This is pathetic. I am pathetic.